Trying to remember.....Reflections of me by me

I have moments in my life where I find myself just staring at my hands...Like now when they are busy typing on the keyboard. A flood of what I can only describe as emptiness, confusion and loss. I find myself wondering what am I doing here. Not just typing on the keys but here in this world...looking through these eyes, staring at these hands...what am I doing here...who am I really. Its a sense of amnesia. Like I know I've forgotten something very important but for the life of me I can't remember what it is.

I stare into my eyes when I look in the mirror, trying to see what is behind them. I know it's me. I know these are my hands, my eyes....but at moments like this it feels strange. Like I'm an older creature than what I see.

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, since I was very young. I was raised in the church. Its teachings tell me I lived before this life and I will live after I die. This is both comforting and confusing. Especially in moments like these. I know from these teachings I am an old soul. And a part of me remembers that this life isn't all there is. In moments like these, I feel myself trying so hard to remember that part of me.

I strangely take comfort in these moments...they remind me yes, this life is temporary and I need to make the most of it....because when its over and I move on to the next step and finally remember...I want my former self to be proud of all I've done in this life to improve upon me. I want to be the best self I can be. So when I finally remember, I won't be disappointed in myself.

This life is temporary...but our souls are eternal....make the most of the time in this life to better yourselves.